The Beat of America

February 28, 2006

News item: (AP) The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History is recognizing the scope and reach of the hip-hop movement with the launch of "Hip-Hop Won't Stop: The Beat, The Rhymes, The Life," which marks the first hip-hop national collecting initiative by the storied institution.

The project started today and will collect objects, records and other items that "trace hip-hop's origins in the Bronx in the 1970s to its current global reach" to form a permanent collection, is expected to cost as much as $2 million and take up to five years to complete.

Here's what I expected to be included: Hip-Hop Heaven Hall will feature full-size portraits of rap artists who succumbed to lead poisoning instead of waiting around for a stroke or a coronary; these will include Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Jam Master Jay, among others.

Rapper 50 Cent (pronounced, "fity" cent) will be the subject of a small exhibit at the entrance by virtue of his surviving nine bullet wounds. Additional space in the Hall is set aside for him should his luck turn.

Directly across from Mr. Cent's niche is a similar one for 29-year-old Israel Ramirez, a father of three who was recently capped as he worked as a "jewelry guard" for rapper Busta Rhymes (aka Treavor Smith). Donations for his family can be snet to the headquarters of Death Row Records, LA.

Visitors to The “Black Culture in Hip Hop” exhibit will have the choice of viewing the historical contents by following either “Pimp Daddy Avenue” or "The Ho on Holla Back Drive”

Here photos and dioramas will display how hip hop culture portrays women, excuse me, bitches.

Former rap artist and current felon and convict Lil' Kim will fund "Lil' Kim's Style Tips" based on her personal experiences.

Visitors under 18 will have access to computers which can assist them in the selection of their very own Hip Hop name… i.e., “Chane Lynx” or “Instabeat.”

There is also a five minute video on exactly why black people find it necessary to change their names to something that has no known meaning or why those from the “old school” just content themselves with making up a fake African or Arabic-sounding name (such as Texan Erykah Badu or the aforementioned Mr. Shakur.) From Miz. Badu’s official bio: “In her early youth, she decided to change the spelling of her name from Erica to Erykah, as she firmly believed her original name to be her 'slave' name. The term 'kah' signifies the inner self, which, when translated from Muslim, means 'can do no wrong'.

“Her surname, Badu, derives from an Arabic word which means to 'manifest truth and light'. “

The planned “Fathers' Influence on the Hip Hop Generation” interactive theater has been canceled due to lack of material, nd no money.

Organizers insist the Hip Hop exhibit "ain't no just black thang. White folks be included too."

White rapper Ermine (shown at left with a porn star) will be included, as will white entertainers Michael Jackson and Bryant Gumbel.

Also planned is a smaller section of the space devoted to disaffected white suburban teenagers who try to, well, act as through they are of a difference race; though it would seem that color would be one of the first tip-offs.

Two mannequins at the Whiggaz Exhibit, named "Opie" and "Chuck", will sport keys to parent-purchased BMWs, Platinum credit cards, and looks of justifiable rage against The Man which come from having parents who make $300,000 a year.

They ain't playin' man; they dope.

And the star of the entire "Hip Hop Won't Stop" collection may be the collaboration between General Electric and Microsoft called “Our First Black President”. The very lifelike, anatomical-correct robot of Bill Clinton will greet visitors and hand out donation forms for the Clinton Presidential Library and Bathhouse.

February 28, 2006 | Permalink