For several years it has been called, “The Shop”… or more amusingly, “The He-Man Woman-Haters’ Club”, but now the slab has been poured and the framing is underway so I axed Don what his 1,000+ sq./ft. retreat on the grounds of Rancho Costalotta would be named.
At The Fried Pie this a.m., and without missing a beat, he said, “The naming rights are now open for bids.”
The possibilities are endless, although he immediately rejected my $100 offer for: North Texas Young Asian Dancing Boys Club with a wave of his hand…. wordlessly.
It turns out I am the Official Glazier for the project as my help was critical in moving two huge pieces of glass from the additional “three acres” Don owns, to the project.
Don sees himself staring at his domain through these huge windows which have inflamed my tennis elbow no end.
Look for yerself:
Yes… they are the size of a 1969 Chevy pickup bed. Should you try this, be sure and warm up first… I didn’t.
Here are the plans:
Sorry… here are the plans:
Unbelievably, Don devoted almost 2/3rds of the slab to his pickup, “Ole Green”, whatever tools he can find, and a couple of Snap-On Tools posters. The remaining space its for us…. those who will be forced to pay membership dues to come and watch Cowboys’ games (Oh, Woopee!) and back-to-back-to-back reruns of “Band of Brothers” and “Lonesome Dove”.
By God, Woodrow; it's been one hell of a party.
As you can see, Don’s (shown center) role is critical.
Retired Texas State Patrol Trooper David Jones, right, is the manager on this project and tolerates Don’s input as long as beer and a fish fry are part of the ribbon-cutting ceremony.
The yet-to-be-named (although I prefer The Hole in the Wall Gang Hideout) redoubt will feature a head and shower, wet bar, fireplace, BIG SCREEN TV (my responsibility), surround sound and a library of Broadway musicals, including “Cats”; ‘fridge, central heat/AC and a fully-stocked bar which will have only whisky and Coors Lite… I’ll have to bring my own Guinness.
The “wetting down” ceremony will be in the spring and requires the great planning skills of Lynette and myself for a grand opening worthy of such a project. Left to his own devices, Don would be happy with beer, the aforementioned Lonesome Dove, some white bread and a can of SPAM. You think I’m kidding.
You’d be wrong.
The concept in all this is as old as time, and simple to the point of being completely misunderstood.
Men… like… to… be… alone, or more correctly: they like to be alone with other men.
Oh, shuddup, this ain’t no homo crap.
Women are rulers of home and hearth… that means none of your high school football team photos go on the walls, no sports memorabilia, and definitely no hand grenades.
So men, in search of their own piece of mind, end up in the garage or in the basement… or in Don’s case…. he has property.
Stay tuned for project updates and be sure and send you names for Don’s retreat to firstname.lastname@example.org and to me at email@example.com –otherwise he’ll never tell me what suggestions he receives.
Don’s dogs are hoping for a brisk construction so they can get out of jail.