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August 24, 2005


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Saul Sez He's Sorry

By Cassius Bernstein
Christian Science Monitor Staff Writer

According to sources close to the church of Rome, the Apostle Paul, aka Saul of Tarsus, has recanted a portion of a letter recently written to parishioners here.

In a statement Paul says, "In the 23rd verse of the sixth chapter of my letter I made the statement 'For the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

"Of course, what I meant to say was that the wages of sin ARE death."

Paul attributed the grammatical error to overworked proofreaders. "Unfortunately we felt the need to rush publication and stockpile Bibles throughout the world in anticipation of despotic rulers who we fear might one day actually ban the book within their kingdoms."

The one-time-vehement-atheist-church-critic turned-popular-Christian-author (whom many still believe to be a co-conspirator in the stoning death of the martyr Stephen) said he also does not trust future biblical translators.

"This won't mean much to you now, but trust me. By the time the Harvard and Yale divinity schools get hold of my writings, I wouldn't be surprised if I am alleged to have said, 'the wages of sin sure don't pay what they used to' or 'kegs of gin often cause bad breath.'

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